A Little Princess

I love classics!! Why?? Because I love the old world charm of grace, manners and appropriateness (these days the same are coined as "Melodrama" by sceptics!). I recently happened to read the book "A Little Princess" by Frances Hodgson Burnett. The book is about a little girl Sara who has the brightness and imagination of a grownup. After devouring the book, I realised how much I am like this little girl. Oh well! It's a different thing that I am the grownup with the brightness and imagination of a little girl! (that technically makes me a retard:P but heh! who cares?!)

Imagination is a wonderful thing. When we were kids we could build a whole world around us with just our imagination and we were blissfully happy with the imaginary world around us. A card box was our house! Underneath the table was our kingdom! We had the superpowers of superheros! As we grow up, we start becoming more realistic in life. Wouldn't it be wonderful, if for once adults STOPPED being so realistic and used their imagination to live their lives on their terms?

Sara, who imagines herself to be a princess to remove herself from the ugly and discordant surroundings finds solace and peace in her life. If we could use the very same imagination to live the life we always wanted to and play it up a tad little bit, wouldn't that make this world a more beautiful place to live? Quoting Aqua, Imagination! Life is a creation!

With that,
Princess Sundari

In Sickness and In Health

Groan.. Ammmmaaaa.. i croaked!

Ene nindu katte?
(What's with you?)

Feeling weird ma! Not too well. Funny feeling in my stomach like something is moving and nausea!

WHAT????? Nausea na? Feeling in the stomach aa? (Horrified-panic-terror-earth came to an end/2012-did I hear what I just heard look on ma's face)
At this juncture Aha ha ha Aha ha ha.. didin didin didin music score would be playing if we were characters in Ekta Kapoor's soap!

Relax ma! (I haven't done IT or anything you know TO you know tone!) It's the samosa I had from that cart near water tank.

Joy spread on ma's face (I knew we didn't go wrong with you look!)
How many times I have told you? Not to eat samosas from that place! God knows how he makes those samosas (a lil less severely than usual, an upset stomach is clearly a lesser problem than unwanted pregnancy!!)

Sari! Ee matre togondhu malko, ella sariyoguthey!
(Take this tablet and go to sleep, you will feel better)

Siddarth Narayan went down on his knees and said "WHAT I need to live has been given to me by the earth. WHY I need to live is given to me by you. I love you Shilpa".

Me: I really don't know Siddarth! You shock me! I don't know what to say!

Siddarth Narayan: "Mein tumare bina nahi jee saktha!! Will you marry me?"

Me: Weeeelll.. ok if you reeeally insist (rolling my eyes and blowing my nails!) Yes! Clearly Imran Khan will be disappointed!!!

Siddarth with no shirt and me in a beautiful Ritu Kumar saree (oh! I forgot to wear my blouse Sonam Kapoor look!) running around the trees and singing

Kuntali Kurangila (Can't sit)
Nintali Nilangila (Can't stand)
Yen Yeno Agthythala (Something happens)
Helake Mathe Ella (Words fail me)
Jum Jum Maya Jum Jum Maya... (equilvalent to kuch kuch hota hai)
Praya Bandre En Iddu Maya....

Shilpaaaaa... Shilpiiiiii... Sako malgirodu! Hedollu!
(Enough of sleeping, get up now)

Jolted out of my beautiful dream! Damnnnn...

Ma: How are you feeling now?

I was still feeling weird, dazed, extremely tired and I needed to throw up my lunch. There are times when you just cannot explain how you are feeling but this was NOT one of those times.

Kuntali Kurangila
Nintali Nilangila
Yen Yeno Agthythala
Helake Mathe Ella

With that!
Jum Jum Maya Jum Jum Maya...
Roga Bandre Jum Jum Maya...

Climax

I loveeeeeee climaxes! Whether it is the ultra romantic type of climax like in DDLJ of Shahrukh Khan holding out his hand from the moving train to Kajol (Sighhh.. ) or the tragic type of climax like in Devdas of Shahrukh Khan breathing his last on Paro's doorstep (Sob sob...).

I guess this love for the drama and climax translates into impeteous actions in my life!! Yes! My climax moment had arrived and this time it was the laptop DVD writer, which had conked and the warranty stated today was the last day where the warranty would last! So there I was, along with Sarasu ziping on my bike to the service center. What good is the climax if there are no tons of coincidences and circumstances which could lead to the gripping intensity of the situation? Turns out it was also the day of opening of the Mantri Square (biggest mall and all in namma Bengalooru! Yay!). I think all the loafers by default make Bengalooru their home and all of them decided today I will go to Mantri Square, as my luck would have it! So there we were stuck in traffic for what seemed like ages. After close to 9o minutes, we hadn't even crossed 100 mts. It was 7 o clock already and the service centre would close in the next 30 minutes! And so I asked Sarasu

Me: Ene madodu eega? (What to do now?)
Sarasu: That guy is cute no?
Me: Ah yes! Ok teeeelllll meeeeeeeeee.. (I screeched in my ultra irritating girlie voice)
Sarasu: Hmm.. we will park off the bike somewhere here and walk no?

It seemed like a good idea and we were desperate. So we parked the bike in one of the first bylanes we could turn into.

Ok ok ok.. I see them closing.. and we made a run for it and just before the guy at the store banged the door on our faces, we were in!
Marwadi uncle at the service centre who was clearly pissed seeing that the date on the receipt did warranty a service free of cost "Eddu namdu mistake illa madam, nivvu evatuge bandidira. Idake warranty period agihogide"
(This is not our mistake madam, you have come today! The warranty period is over)
After much threatning and swearing of "You don't know who I am!!" (ofcourse he doesn't! I am no Katrina Kaif!) dialogues from myself, he agreed to have the DVD player fixed.

Ammaya! Job done and so we celebrated:) by eating at every random stall in the vicinity. There was the Ramanna's masalapoori joint opp to shady's college (sheshadripuram college shortened to shady's for a reason), there was the bun butter nippat masala (indianised burger) from Chetty's corner and our all time favourite cake fudge from corner house!! (And I always wonder how I pile on the kilos!)

After being fully satisfied (by all the food ofcourse!), we started walking back or rather tracing back the bylane where the bike was parked. After 30 minutes, we had circled every bylane around Malleswaram and realised that we were hopelessly lost and awfully late! Sarasu (with better geographic sense amongst the two of us) was asking random people on the street trying to figure out a way! Whilst she was at it, I saw a feeble Thatha (grandpa), atleast 85 old with a walking stick trying to cross the street! The good girl in me evoked and I approached the thatha
Me: "Road cross madbeka thatha?"
Thatha: "Mumble mumblee..." (thatha had no teeth and clearly conversation abilities was a developmental goal)
I interpreted the mumble mumblee as "Haudamma, devaru ninge olledu madli/noor makkalana hettu sukavagiru" (Yes, god bless you with hundred kids and may you live happily) or something to that effect!
So like a true hero (I was already imagining myself being nominated for the red and white bravery award! What!!? They don't give the bravery awards for helping people cross the roads???!! Appalled! They totally should consider that crossing the roads in Bangalore traffic is BRAVERY!) I digress. And so I firmly caught hold of thatha's hand and in the raging traffic with several thousand vehicles honking I bravely pulled him onto the other side of the road. (Also wishing maybe some Amir Khan in Ghajini types was watching my good deed in action and would fall head over heels in love with me and sing Tu meri adhuri pyaas pyaas)

With a brighter than the sun smile plastered on my face and wishing my mum (who always complains that i am a good for nothing) was there so see me now, I smugly looked at the Thatha (who was confusingly looking horrified) waiting to hear him thank me and bless me (you know 100 kids and all)

Thatha: Mumble Mumblee... (still incomprehensible)
Me: Parvagilla thatha (still smiling)
Thatha: Mumble Mumblee... (with an angry and horrified look on his face)
What! There isnt supposed to be an second mumble mumblee.... Confused i looked around! Looking at my confused expression, flower vendor on the footpath explained what the mumble mumblee meant
"Nanu road cross madbekagirlilla, Huch mundedey"
(I didn't want to cross the road! You mad lout!)

With that,
I will never be blessed with 100 children!


**This incident happened a few months back and the post was only completed today due to several unavoidable factors such as procrastination!

My First Love

When I was a 3 year old! (Yes! Yes! that was a long time ago, my memory is very good huh!) My ajji (grandma) used to tell me tales about a rajkumar (prince) who was brave, strong and handsome. She would also tell me that I was a rajkumari (princess) and that one day a rajkumar would come and take me away. So when i first saw Dr. Rajkumar dressed as dushyantha dancing with Jayaprada (i was very jealous and was imagining Jayaprada to be deformed and mutated in some way), i naturally assumed that he is my rajkumar (since he was "THE" rajkumar) and was head over heels in love (and it was not even the harmones, I was a 3 year old remember), I also thought that i would end up marrying him only! Sadly that didn't happen due to a variety of reasons the but he shall always remain my first love!



With that (Dr. Rajkumar's truly)
Priyathame

Wadrobe Essential

It's not the perfect fitting jeans!

It's not the little black dress!

It's not the goes with all the outfits black strappy shoes!

Ladies! The best thing to own in your wadrobe, right now is a hijab/burka/abhaya!

Cosmo, Vogue, Elle all of them will soon be writing and raving about this wonder garment! I dont know how we missed the wonders of this piece-of-must-have all these years! Its "THE" thing to own right now and let me tell you why!

• No sun tan! It's a summer essential!
  
• Serves as rain coat! It's also a winter essential!
• Natural air conditioning! Now no need sweat like a pig on those "Oh feck! so hot days" and you can perfectly be a lady!
  
• On one of those days when you can't seem to decide on what to wear! Hijab is the answer! You can wear it over your jammies or you can even go commando:P!
• Easy to pee! Lift and action will do!
• Say goodbye to painful waxing!
  

So all you ladies out there! Go and pick up a abhaya NOW!

With that signing off!
Fashionista!!

Way to Fitness

Well I am no Bharat Thakur to be advising about fitness regime but still! Fitness has become a new mantra and everybody is after the ooo soo.. perfect body. Kareena's size zero figure or SRK's six packs screams fitness!
There are many ways to keep fit namely Yoga, aerobics, cycling, swimming, gyming, dancing... etc etc. But BELIEVE me! The best form of exercise known to mankind is in this video
Note:

• The above dance (if you can classify as such) if performed once a day will keep gym cost at bay!
• Couple of ice cubes down the trousers help you co-ordinate your moves with the whip lash beats:P (puhtoosh..lol)
• Do not be disheartened with Vishnu Vardhan's tummy, after this performance he lost at least 10 kilos and self respect:p!
• The choreographer of this piece really deserves an life time achievement award and he needs to file a patent for the world's greatest fitness regimen!
  

With that!
Puhtooosh:))

Nijana Nanena

"Nijana nanena nina jothe jothe yagiruve
Id yella premana nana mansanu kelruve"

The first time i heard this song was when i was waiting at the cobbler kiosk getting my chappal fixed! The source of the wonderful music was a tiny lil radio blaring away! From then on the tune was stuck in my head. Having no clue about which movie or which lead actor was this song picturized on, i felt miserable with the tune stuck in my head! I desperately wanted to hear this song! I tried humming the song to people and see if they could recognize the number! But singing never being turf! It sorta became like a guessing game with people taking their wildest guess! Someone even guessed the number as back off bitch!! Wow i have zero talent in humming! I was trying to picturize this number with myself in a beautiful flowing sari and Siddarth running around the trees to Sonu Nigam's melidious voice!

One fine day, i finally heard this number again on the radio on my way to work in the cab! Thrilled i gasped that this was the song that was stuck in my head for days! I finally found out the name of the movie! And throughout the day was waiting to come back home and listen to this number to my heart's content! I rushed home that day and switched on my internet and searched the number on YouTube! I found it! I found it! Yay Yay... (this is what an orgasm must seem like! Discovery!!!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOFxU8Buj1Y
I opened the link! KABOOOOOOOOOM on my face! No it wasn't any explosion! It was my heart breaking! Ahhh.. the pain:( The song was picturized on this ugliest porki looking hero with hair that looked like the new metal Scotch brite (Pankaj is that useless products name)! That was the end of my love of this number! The picture of me and Sid vanished into thin air!!! Alas!

With that!
President of "Hate that Pankaj character" club!

Gulti Groom

Every time and i repeat every time one of these useless relatives throw a gulti groom at you! And every time i repeat every time they are the SAME!! So why wait for the useless relatives to throw a surprise at you! Lets be prepared with what to expect out of the prospective gulti groom!

• Chances are that the prospective gulti groom is either from Ananthpur, Chittor, Nellore and such other second tier cities that you wouldn't have heard of until now!
• The pics of him, his parents choose to send are either in a common park in a weird Tollywood hero pose! Or in front of his neighbours BMW!
• His name is longer than your entire family's names put together and you still don't know what his first name is!
  
• He has done his bachelors from JNTU!
• He has also done his MS in one of the US universities which figures in the top ten list of the worst universities in the States!
• He is a Java developer!
• He loves SPB!
• He has other gulti friends and together they love watching the latest Tollywood movies!

Now that we already know what to expect no more surprises!
With that signing off!
Hope not be a bride of a gulti groom!

SWAYAMVARA

Sandalwood actress Rakshita hosting Swayamvara show! (Shouldn’t she be participating in the Biggest Loser Asia contest rather than hosting). Anyways I watched an episode or two:( (courtesy my mother). Gosh!! Can’t believe people will do anything to be on TV and get married!

But the idea of Swayamvara is nice:). May be I should suggest this to my parents! Boys vying for princess Shilpa’s attention! Ooooo.. I should have a contest like in the Magadheera movie. I shall throw my dupatta and who ever fetches the same and saves my modesty shall win (I shall also sing the dheera dheera dheera song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XVhuGbBE5s ). But but but… what if it is my dogs who actually fetch the dupatta (after all the catch and fetch that I have trained them). Hmmmm… or like how lord Rama broke the Shiva Dhanush into two (strong Rama must have been working out heh!!) but since I cant find a Shiva Dhanush I can substitute it with some heavy duty gym equipment or my sisters luggage (the amount she packs!! Seriously)

Now that we have decided on the contest! We also need suitable contenders no? My top five pick of contenders!

1. SIDDARTH NARAYAN
   
2. SIDDARTH NARAYAN
   
3. SIDDARTH NARAYAN
   
4. SIDDARTH NARAYAN
   
5. SIDDARTH NARAYAN
   

Siddarth please marry me! pretty please:(

With that signing off
Mrs. Siddharth (hopefully!!!!) *blush blush**

Make Over

Ever watched a make over show on TV! Dull drab men and women are transformed to look like a movie stars! Its like watching a ugly duckling transform into a swan:)
I was traveling on work and everyday evening with nothing to do i would end up in Macy's, shopping as it was right next to the hotel i stayed! On one of those days i decided to shop for my all time favourite perfume and found myself in the Elizabeth Arden counter! I picked up a few perfumes and assuming that i would also be interested in buying the make up Chinese girl at the counter (who could have really used a lil perfume herself) was trying really hard to sell me some make up.. Not convinced by my "I don't use makeup", she said why don't i give you makeover! The wannabe movie star in me wanted to try the larvae to butterfly transformation!
I agreed to be the guinea pig and perched up on the chair! The Chinese girl asked me what kind of look i was interested in? 'Dramatic" or "Natural"? Why the hell would i apply layers of make up to look natural? I quirked "Dramatic" Give me dark shadows and works, i said! I was imagining myself to look like one of the kohl lined beautiful eyes actresses on television running around trees, while the Chinese girl continued applying some gooey stuff on my eyes! While i sat there dreaming about what song could i picturize myself with my dramatic eyes, the Chinese girl was running about bringing more and more gooey stuff telling me, "Don't look in the mirror until i am finished" Well OK! I like the anticipation and the climax! After about 30 minutes, when i had almost dozed off imagining myself in some some bollywood thriller, the Chinese girl in her sugary honey coated tone said "Now you can look" Slowly as in a climax of a soap i turned towards the mirror!
"Screeechhhhhh" Who the hell is that? I was staring at a face i didn't recognize!!
"Dramatic"? Yes it was! Transformation? Hell ya! Only it wasn't the ugly duckling to swan transformation! It was more like a transformation of gender! I looked like a "TRANSSEXUAL HOOKER"
So much for my make over! Sigh some of have to contend with a lil less drama in life!

With that!
Drama Queen

"Dharma Pati"

Sanskrit was my first language and like always slokas were mugged right before the exams but some of them are really unforgettable! One such verse was on the qualities to look for a in a wife! The verse was something like:



Meaning:

• One who works like a servant! (without any compensation!!)
• Who advises like a minister! (well known fact! guys have no brains! they need us ladies)
• Looks like goddess Lakshmi! (good looking! but at the same time the behenji types so that no other guy realises that she is indeed good looking)
• Who is forgiving like mother earth! (so even if the guy cheats! the woman should forgive and forget)
  
• Cooks like Anapoorna! (Again! without any compensation)
  
• Pleases like Rambha!!!! (Tut tut tut.. Of course guys)
  
• The one who possess all the above qualities is a wife by dharma, the so called "Dharma Patni" (Basically a perfect woman by the defined standards of men)
  

Well well well.. could not agree more! How very convenient! Written by a man of course! Idea of heaven is filled with Rambe, Uravashi, Menaka... and other beautiful damsels! Definitely the idea of heaven is a figment of imagination of a guy or a lesbian! My bet is on the former though!

But i don't ever remember reading a sloka ever on qualities of a hubby! What should be the ideal qualities to look for in husband or lets say who can be a "Dharma Pati"?

• Medhaavii Albert Einstein - Intelligent as Albert Einstein (Smart men are way better than handsome ones)
• Eka Patni Vrata Rama - Loyal as Lord Rama (Trusting though! Insecure men are BIG BIG turn off)
  
• Darshaniiya Siddarth - One who looks like Sid! (U bet!)
• Aadhyah Bill Gates - Rich as Bill Gates! (Jimmy choos, Manolo Blahnik, Gucci, Chanel, LV... all costs a lot of money girls!!)
• Dhaneshu Karna - As big hearted as Karna! (Charity begins at home! Somebody who can loosen the purse strings to buy the top ten things that your wardrobe needs as per Cosmo!)
• Vinodah Russell Peter - Funny and entertaining like Russell Peter (Well a guy who can make witty remarks is a added plus point)

A guy who would meet all the above qualities would be my perfect man. I bet, there is no single guy who would match all the above qualities! But a guy would expect a woman to meet all the qualities of a "Dharma Patni".

My take is there no perfect man or a woman but there can be perfect relationship!

First Summer Rain!!

Summer has set in! Sunny mornings and breezy evenings... With the sweet smell of rain.. the first summer rain!!! Hmmm...Sigh!!!! Summer rains are tempermental and is warm and is nothing like the rainy season! Summer rains brings warm and fond memories of

• Sweet aroma of the mud just before it rains!
  
• Playing late in the evening in the first summer rain!
• Staring out of the window, trying to study for the approaching finals!
• Day dreaming about puppy crush!
• Coming home drenched in the sweet summer rain to loved ones!
• Being pampered by loved ones warming you!
  
• Aroma of hot filter coffee and crispy pakoras!
  
• Hot shower after getting soaked in the summer rain!
• Wrapped in a warm towel after a hot shower!
• Little puppies crouched under the tree for shelter!
• Running to fetch the clothes hung for drying and getting drenched!
• Dancing in the rain on the terrace when you think nobody is watching!
• Little droplets of water trickling from the trees!
• Spring fever setting in! Dont feel like doing anything except sigh and stare outside!

With every summer passing! The more i fall in love with the gorgeous summer weather and the tempermental rain!
Hmmmm.... Sigh....
Spring fever just set in!!!:-)

Saint Valentine

Valentine's Day! Nobody even knew such a day existed up until a few years ago (oh my god! i feel ancient:-( But is now it is a festivity by itself.
With the V day nearing! everybody is out there planning something for the special ones in their lives! And us singles are left brooding! Well! Who said so? I did but I am wrong!
Valentines day is a day for the one you love! And "I" my people love myself sooo very much!! So i plan to go out on a date with myself! Nope! I didn't knock my head anywhere!! I mean it! This V day, i am going to dispatch myself some gorgeous red stemmed beauties and a nice gift (look at this way, there is no way i am not gonna like the gift!). And why not? Are we not all in a relationship with self? I think so! We love ourselves and we do owe some classic time with self! I don't think its loser like. Now loser like would be being in a relationship because you cannot be alone!
So single people enjoy time with self!

We the workoholics!!

We the GenX want to make it BIG! Extremely ambitious! Want more in less time! So we end up working 12 to 14 hours a day! And we dont stop working! Yup we dont! Its actually funny when you hear people using professional lingo without actually realising what are they doing! Like this workoholic guy (typical HR bloke) who met my friend for a wedding alliance!

Workoholic: So.. where do you see yourself 5 years from now?

Duh.. what is she supposed to answer! mopping after a 3 year old!

Workoholic: What are your strenghts?

I can test it right away! Here, let me take my best shot at you!

Workoholic: I think marriage is all about team work!

God! Dude hope it is remains a two member team.. and stagnant growth!!!

Workoholic: Ok! Lets do some situation analysis! What would you do in a situation where you have an issue with my mother and cannot sort out the situation with her?

I would rather punch you! Gosh! situation analysis and all!

Workoholic: I really like how our conversation is going, i would like to speak to you a couple of more times to see how it goes! Like probationary period!

Da de da... probation period!!! i quit without notice!

Workoholic: So Miss. P, it was nice meeting you and we will let you know about today!

I will let you know right here! Go jump for all i care!

Now this is really a situation with a HR guy! The SW geeks are the worst! Think they only understand code language! Simple and straight language is completely lost on them! Oh god! please save us from all the weirdos in the world!

Relativity

No! I am not talking about Einstein's theory! I am talking about how we perceive our lives. I work for an investment management firm and we publish the returns for portfolios relative to the benchmark. We are like those portfolios and are always compared against standards set by the society! Who decides these standards?

Healthy competitions are ok by me! What's life without race??? But sometimes its unruly! Like this girl in office wanted to know how much money another colleague's fiance was making! Well... hellooo...its time to grow up woman! Its not a industry standard! That we have to collect stats to see whose husband/fiance/boyfriend makes more money! There is actually a criteria of search in the matrimonial websites for brides and grooms in the band with of how much one makes! Well! I am not claiming to be non-materialistic but materialism should be based one's ability to buy pretty things! And definitely not how much you are marrying!

Who defines success? Does success mean making money? Travelling? Owning a mansion? Being married to somebody good looking/rich? Its so cliche!! Its high time we raised our curtains of perception and enjoy life absolutely!!

Loving and Living my life successfully!
Absolutely happy:)

I was walking across the coffee shop with my girl friends and noticed a lil girl blissfully happy with her new red balloon! That made me buy a balloon for myself and i didn't look any less happy than the lil girl! Well of course, the balloon seller must think i am a retard or something buy hey! who cares:) Why is that when we grow up we forget the lil things in life that used to make us so happy?? I like doing kiddish stuff! People may say i am not emotionally mature but that's just me! Below are some loony ideas that you could try and liven up!

• Buy yourself a balloon!
• Make faces at complete strangers! (I once a made a face with a tbbbbt... at a girl who was giggling away at me, dont think she will giggle at anybody else for a really long time)
• Jump a compound wall! (Me and girlfriends always jump a compound wall across office and go buy a cup of tea in a tiny shack)
• Do a lil dance or you could even blow a kiss like a diva in front of the camera in the ATM! (It must be so boring for the security person who watches the tape. Lets just entertain his life a little)
• Watch Legally Blond with mute button on with your friends (Mouth your own dialogues, you can get really creative! Its fun when you throw in some dramatic bollywood dialogues in between)
• Buy a peppermint stick! Who said its meant for kids?
• Watch back to back cartoon movies! (Mulan, Beauty and the Beast, Cindrella...)
  
• Play with your neighbourhood kids! Trust me its super duper fun! (I won 10 marbles and i am the newest champ in the girls marble league)
  
• Wipe the dust of your bicycle, tie some tassels around the handle bar and zip around town!
• Pretend you are sherlock holmes and spy on a neighbour you dont like:) You can even inolve your best friend to be Dr. Watson!

Well! Go ahead! Loosen up and smile like a kid without any care in the world! And remember you are as old as you think:)
Until then,
6 year old trapped in a 26 year old bod!